Right Now, I'm Dealing With All This Spring
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We Structured The Deal So It Won't Make Any Sense
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Can't Believe You Symbolize Peace When You're
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Excuse Me - I Think There's Something Wrong
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Have No Idea Where We Parked The Car
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Wish I Were A Better Speck Of Dust
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Bedtime Stories
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Just Sitting Here Waiting For Facebook To Go Away
Bruce Eric Kaplan
My Contractor Told Me Rome Would Only Take A Day
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Just Have A Few Minor Fixes That Will Ruin
Bruce Eric Kaplan
A Bad Month
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Come On In - Just Throw Your Coats In The Garbage
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Looking For A Position Where I Can Slowly
Bruce Eric Kaplan
My Child's School Is Having An Auction
Bruce Eric Kaplan
You Know, We Actually Only Ever Use
Bruce Eric Kaplan
If It Made Sense
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Not Trying To Say Anything - I'm Just Talking
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Married You. I Didn't Marry Your Vivid Dreams
Bruce Eric Kaplan
This is Your Caption Speaking
Bruce Eric Kaplan
There's So Much Pressure To Like Monkeys
Bruce Eric Kaplan
It's Very Nice. I Just Think They Could Add
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Culturally, I'm A Cat
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Thought The Vaguely Homoerotic Undertones
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Manna's Good For The Munchies
Bruce Eric Kaplan
He's Fine As Long As I Take My Medication
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We Divided It Up So I Do Everything Right
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Everyone's A Bottomless Pit Of Something
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Does It Say I'm A Wittgenstein Scholar?
Bruce Eric Kaplan
New Yorker November 28th, 2005
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We Hired All The Designers Ourselves
Bruce Eric Kaplan
It's Fine - You Know
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Looking For Something Slightly More Perfect
Bruce Eric Kaplan
This Fish Has Forced Me To Confront All
Bruce Eric Kaplan
It Was Better Before God Took Up Knitting
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Suppose We Could Burst Onto The Literary Scene
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Having Nannies Really Changes You
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Would Have Gotten That Report To You Sooner
Bruce Eric Kaplan
You're Not Getting Through The Eye Of A Needle
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We Don't Go To Therapists - We Just Watch
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Big In Japan
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Just Get A Little Tense Before Everything
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Officer, Everything In The World Is Bothering Me
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Walden Pond Is Fine As Long As Thoreau Isn't
Bruce Eric Kaplan
You're Both Miserable Wretches
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Yes, You'll Do It? Or Yes, You Wish I Were Dead?
Bruce Eric Kaplan
New Yorker October 18th, 2004
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We're Done - There's Nothing Left In The World
Bruce Eric Kaplan
It's The Naps You Don't Take That You Regret
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Lost Everything - The Business
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Just Think Men Find Female Homicidal Maniacs
Bruce Eric Kaplan
It's Not A Word I Can Put Into Feelings
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Couldn't Tell If It Was A Fable Or It Was Badly
Bruce Eric Kaplan
He And I Connected Physically
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Serious - You Could Really Pursue This As An
Bruce Eric Kaplan
How Slowly Should I Do This To Make You The Most
Bruce Eric Kaplan
He's In The Other Room
Bruce Eric Kaplan
We Have A Share In An Apple
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Don't Understand Why He'd Rather Howl
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Do You, Eleanor, Agree To Be Exhausted As One
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Everyone Needs Nice Things To Get Sick Of
Bruce Eric Kaplan
He Died Alone With His Family
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I Suppose Owning Everything In The World Gives
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Trying To Eat More Locals
Bruce Eric Kaplan
I'm Proud Of You For Making A Gurgle
Bruce Eric Kaplan
That Was Too Many Fresh Original Voices For One
Bruce Eric Kaplan
What About Me? Am I Not A Natural Disaster?
Bruce Eric Kaplan
For God's Sake
Bruce Eric Kaplan
She Got Amazing Swag On Her Spiritual Journey
Bruce Eric Kaplan
You Can Hide
Bruce Eric Kaplan
Maybe This Isn't The Right Heartless Monolithic
Bruce Eric Kaplan
This Place Would Be So Bucolic Without You
Bruce Eric Kaplan